Varun Nair’s Personal Blog

Being Twenty-Something

…Its really hard.

They call it the “Quarter-Life Crisis”. It is when I stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about me that I didn’t know and may not like. I start feeling insecure and wonder where I will be in a year or two, but then get scared because I barely know where I am now.

I start realizing that people are selfish and that maybe, those friends that I thought were so close to me aren’t exactly the greatest people I have ever met, and the people I have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What I don’t recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren’t really cold, catty, mean, or insincere but that they are as confused as I am.

I look at my job (part time)… and it is not even close to what I thought I would be doing, or maybe I am looking for a job and realizing that I am going to have to start at the bottom and that scares me. My opinions have gotten stronger. I see what others are doing and find myself judging more than usual because suddenly I realize that I have certain boundaries in my life and am constantly adding things to the list of what is acceptable and what isn’t. One minute, I am insecure and then the next, secure.

I laugh and cry with the greatest force of my life. I feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and I try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where I’m or move forward.

I’m heart broken and wonder how someone I loved could do such damage to me. Or lay in bed and wonder why I can’t meet anyone decent enough to get to know better. Or maybe I love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why I’m doing this because I know that I’m not a bad person.

One night stands and random hookups start to look cheap. GETTIN WASTED AND ACTING LIKE AN IDIOT STARTS TO LOOK PATHETIC. I go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with my friends about the same topics because I cannot seem to make a decision. I worry about loans, money, and the future and making a life for myself… and while winning the race would be great, right now i’d just like to be a contender!

What I just realize is that everyone reading this relates to it or related to it once. We are in our best of times and worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

~ Vineet

NOTE: This is not completely an original piece. I got this as a forward some time back but I could relate to it so much it’s as if I had written it myself. It is not identical to the forward I got because there is a lot of me in there, especially towards the end. I will try to find out the original author of this piece and give credit to him/her but that will have to wait for some time since I have my exams going on right now. Bye!

This entry was posted on Friday, June 8th, 2007 at 2:49 am and is filed under family, personal, thoughts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.